


A Very Constangreen Halloween

by DustinMcDreamy



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Comic Book Violence, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Halloween, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, Sex Magic, Threesome - M/M/M, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27285025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustinMcDreamy/pseuds/DustinMcDreamy
Summary: Zombies are popping up throughout time as Halloween in the main timeline approaches. Constantine, out of options, seeks the arcane help of one Lucifer Morningstar.
Relationships: Gary Green/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), John Constantine/Gary Green, John Constantine/Gary Green/Lucifer Morningstar, John Constantine/Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

John Constantine was inside his House of Mystery, drinking whiskey, as he flipped through the pages of an old tome. Something had been rising over the course of the past few days that the Waverider’s signals had picked up on. The dead were arising with hostile intent. They were increasing with strength and frequency with each day. Half of the Legends were tracking down these new ‘Anachronombies’ while John, Gary, and Astra were doing research at John’s house.

The fire in the fireplace intensified as Astra appeared back in the living room via the portal John had constructed.

“I’ve spoken to all of my old contacts who will still talk to me,” she stated in an annoyed tone, making her way to John Constantine’s minibar, immediately pouring herself a drink. “The people who know anything are afraid, but most of them didn’t even know anything. It was like pulling teeth, but significantly less enjoyable. I used to _love_ pulling teeth.”

John sighed and flipped the book he was reading closed; a soft thud of the cover and pages collapsing broke through the tense air. “Unfortunately, there’s thousands of ways to perform necromancy, and we do not have enough information to narrow it down. Necromancy is strongest on Hallow’s Eve, so whomever is behind this is almost at their peak, and we are running out of time,” John said defeatedly.

Gary entered the room holding a different tome, eyes fixated on the page. “Have you found anything, Gary?” John asked.

Gary shook his head. “Most necromancy involves the necromancy being within range of the corpse, so we can eliminate about seventy percent of these options since these ‘Zombnacronisms’ are occurring throughout random sections of time, but that still leaves a lot of leads,” Gary said.

“I thought we were calling them ‘Anachronombies’,” John replied.

“Both names are stupid, I’m punching both Nate and Behrad when I see them again for suggesting them, and the semantics are besides the point,” she replied angrily. “We’ve only go two days until Halloween, and this necromancer is going to be at their strongest. Surely, there must be some other avenue we haven’t exhausted yet, for Christ’s sake!”

John looked pensive for a moment before grinning. “Christ’s sake, indeed, Astra. Thank you, love.”

Astra and Gary looked at him with confusion. “I don’t think Jesus Christ is going to help us with this one, John,” Astra replied condescendingly.

“No, not him, but someone who knew him. I don’t even know if he made it to this Earth after the Crisis or what ties he had left to our Hell system, but if he does, it may just be a lifesaver. You two keep searching, I’m off to pay him a visit,” John said.

He made his way to the portal circle and began to chant an occult spell. A glowing portal began to grow and strong wind filled the room until it was large enough for John to step through. He emerged on the other side in a parking lot. It was late at night and club music could be heard in the distance. He adjusted his trench coat and made his way around the building to the front of it.

He looked up at the lights that spelled “LUX” in bright letters on the tall white building. “It’s still here,” John said with a smile. Maybe they had a chance at resolving this issue after all. He walked up to the front when he was stopped by the bouncer.

“I’m here to see Lucifer Morningstar,” John Constantine said. “It’s an absolutely urgent matter.”

“You know what one of the first things they told me on day one was? If I ever see a blonde British man in a trench coat and tie, he is absolutely never ever allowed access to LUX on any circumstance ever,” the bouncer stated.

“That’s a lot of ‘evers’,” John teased. “Surely, Lucy was just in a bad mood that day. I’m his favorite patron!”

“His favorite patrons don’t get policies named after them,” the bouncer said.

“I have a policy?” John asked.

The bouncer nodded. “The No-John-Constantine-Ever Policy,” he replied.

“That seems pretty vague and open ended. Are we sure that’s what it means?” John asked.

The bouncer grabbed John by his shirt and lifted him up with one hand. “Get the fuck out,” he said sternly as he got thrown over to the side of the line. The patrons in line laughed as John got up and brushed the dirt off his jacket and casually smiled to save face. He made his way back behind the building and groaned from frustration.

He put his fingertips on the wall of the building and concentrated intensely, but it appeared Lucifer was consistent on all Earths. His lair was magically fortified. He wouldn’t be able to portal in; he needed an alternative.

He took out a cellphone that Gary forced him to get. He much rather preferred not having one, but now he was sort of thankful he did. “FaceTime Ava Sharpe,” John ordered.

The phone began to ring and Ava shortly appeared on the screen. She was still on the Waverider with the rest of the Legends.

“Hi, John,” she said with exhaustion. “Please tell me you found something.”

“I’m working on a new lead now, but I need a favor. Look to your left a bit for me please,” John said.

“Are you portaging something?” She asked as she turned as requested.

“No, now to your right,” John requested.

She sighed with annoyance but turned the other way. “Is there a reason for th-”

“ _Glamouris familiaris_ ,” John chanted. His face began to glow and when the light faded, he had Ava’s face on.

“John, are you friggin kidding me!? What are you doing with my face? Do I still have mine?” She began to frantically touch her face.

“Nothing is wrong with your mug, love, I’m just borrowing a copy,” John said with a magically perfect Ava voice. I just need to infiltrate the bedroom of a bad bad man with whom I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with. He loves to hate me and he hates to love me.”

“I swear, John, if you have sex with this person in my body I will end you!” Ava shouted.

“Don’t worry love, my own body is perfect for that as is. Ask nearly anyone on that ship,” he said with a wink. “Got to go, love. Time’s a ticking!”

He hung up on her and looked down at the trench coat and tie that still gave him away. He waved his hand and his clothing was also glamoured into a skimpy black sequined dress that stopped at the thighs and a matching clutch purse.

“Oh congratulations, Sara. Well done on this one,” he said to himself. He made his way back to the front of the club and approached the bouncer again.

“Hi, excuse me,” John said, looking and sounding exactly like Ava. “Please tell me I’m not being catfished. I got invited here by a Luke-i-fer. I think he’s Greek or something? Last name Morningstar. He asked me up to a penthouse and he sent me a photo of a, well, I don’t think you want to see it, but it was almost too big and pretty to be real. I’m being punked right?”

“He has a girlfriend,” the bouncer said suspiciously.

“He told me that too,” John said. “A detective, I think. They’re trying the open thing. I believe him, because if he’s lying to a detective, he won’t get far.”

“He doesn’t lie,” the bouncer said. “Go on in.”

“Thank you!” John said with a large grin on Ava’s face and a high pitched tone. He made his way inside the club and navigated through the dancing, sweaty bodies until he reached the elevator.

He made his way in and pressed the “6” button three times, which caused the penthouse button to glow instead, and the elevator began to ascend to the top floor. The door opened up and revealed a classy modern penthouse.

John stepped in and approached the center of the loft. “Detective, you got here much faster than I anticipated,” a man said as he exited the bedroom. He stopped himself when he saw the blonde woman at the entrance was not his girlfriend. “You’re not who I was expecting.”

John gave a flirtatious smile and curled a finger in Ava’s hair. “I hope I’m not disappointing.”

“Actually, darling, it appears I must be the one to disappoint. I am a monogamous man now, and the missus is on her way. As much as I would thoroughly enjoy the extra company, things are relatively new with her and we haven’t had that chat. So, I think it’s best you go for now, but feel free to slide in my DMs in a month or too and I can tell you how things are going,” Lucifer explained as he approached closer to escort John back to the elevator.

John sucked in some air to make that disappointed sound. “I can’t wait a month or two, Lucifer. I need something from you now.” He put Ava’s hand on Lucifer’s chest, causing him to chuckle.

“You’re very forward, dear, which I love, but I really cannot,” Lucifer insisted.

“Just one little favor, Lucifer Morningstar, _please_ ,” John begged seductively.

The mention of a favor caused Lucifer to grin and he took Ava’s hand. “Well, darling, the devil loves a good favor. Tell me, what is it that you _truly desire_?”

John felt the truth being compelled out of him via Lucifer’s power. “I…..want……a bottle of Macallan Lalique Scotch,” John confessed.

Lucifer’s flirty face turned into one of anger. “I only know one other person who’s desired that.” His eyes flared red and John felt a rush of magic overcome him. The subtle tingling sensation from his glamour magic was no longer felt on his face and body. He looked down to see himself completely naked. Lucifer’s grip on his hand tightened, and John tried to cover himself with his free hand.

“What did you do to my clothes, mate?” John asked angrily.

“Your glamour made them a magical item, and most magical items are not welcome here,” Lucifer said sternly. “Did the bouncer not explain the No-John-Constantine-Ever Policy well enough?”

“I thought it was pretty vague myself,” John responded.

Lucifer’s grip on John’s wrist tightened. “Wrong answer.”

John let out a small grunt of pain as the pressure amplified on his bones. Lucifer could break them clear through with ease with his supernatural strength, and John was one smart-assed answer away from him doing it. The only thing more humiliating than Lucifer besting him was that he was stark naked while Lucifer was doing it.

“I came here on a serious matter, you wanker. Do you think I came here for fun? I wasn’t even sure you survived the Crisis,” John explained through the pain.

“You show up in a cocktail dress and touch my chest, and then wind up naked, what else am I to believe?” Lucifer asked before he threw John’s hand out of his grip, making him wince due to the thrust. Lucifer turned away from John and made his way to his bar to pour himself a drink. “Aside from two-hundred-thousand dollar scotch, what do you want, Johnathan?”

“For starters, I’d like to you lower the ward so I can glamour some clothing back,” John said, still hiding his package from the devil.

Lucifer chuckled. “I don’t think I will. Your body is the one thing about you I don’t despise. Plus, it isn’t anything you haven’t shown me before.”

“Yeah, yeah, that doesn’t mean I want you now,” John replied in an annoyed tone. Any interaction with Lucifer outside of mind blowing sex was annoying and insufferable. He made his way over to Lucifer’s couch and sat down, covering himself up with a pillow. “I’m here because of the dead coming back to life in high volumes throughout multiple years in history.”

“And what exactly am I supposed to do about that?” Lucifer asked.

“You were the king of Hell, surely you have some insight,” John replied.

“King of _a_ Hell, not this one. From what I’ve seen, this one is pretty barbaric,” Lucifer replied.

“You’re telling me,” John said. “We are running out of time, though. You must know something!”

John’s heart rate increased and his breathing got more difficult. He put his hand to his mouth and he was shaking. Lucifer was sipping on his drink and he lowered it as he watched John curiously.

“The situation is getting out of hand! Soon enough there will be too many for us to handle! We’re all doing to DIE!” John exclaimed.

Lucifer walked slowly over to him, confused. “You’re afraid.”

“Terrified, Lucifer! I haven’t seen anything like this before!” John shouted.

“John Constantine doesn’t get afraid….” Lucifer said slowly.

“Because in twenty-four hours this necromancer is going to kill us all! And then we’ll all be-”

Lucifer quickly pressed his mouth against John’s and grabbed both sides of his face. He kissed intensely and roughly, just how John usually liked it before pulling back.

“What the bloody hell was that!?” John yelled.

“Kissing helps stop panic attacks. How are you feeling?” Lucifer asked.

“Pissed off at you like always!” He exclaimed.

“But you’re not afraid anymore,” Lucifer added.

“I don’t get afraid,” Constantine argued.

“That’s exactly my point, Johnathan,” Lucifer replied. “I believe I know what the problem is. When Crisis happened, my loving father of course spared all his children and brought them to this universe.”

“Your point?” Constantine asked.

“ _All_ his children,” Lucifer added. “There’s only one being vile enough and powerful enough to bring people from Hell throughout any period of time _and_ strike fear in the hearts of man on such a wide scale, and that would be my lovely brother Michael.”

“You’ve never mentioned your siblings,” John stated.

“We’re enemies with benefits, Johnathan, not lovers who cuddled and participated in pillow talk,” Lucifer replied condescendingly, earning a nod from John. “Your fear increased Just now because we just hit midnight. His power is gaining. I’ll text you coordinates tomorrow evening. I’ll need to gather some materials.”

“My phone seems to be missing with the rest of my items,” John replied, not hiding the annoyance.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and telepathically lowered the wards of his home, undoing the magical block, and thus restoring John’s attire to his body. The timing must have been perfect because the elevator opened and a woman with a dirty blonde ponytail and denim jacket walked in. She was certainly not dressed for a club.

“Lucifer,” she stated. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“An old acquaintance of mine needs a favor which _will_ be repaid, and unfortunately it is urgent. I may need to cancel tonight’s festivities. That’s how you can tell how urgent it is,” Lucifer stated.

“That’s partially why I was on my way, to cancel,” Chloe said. “The department keeps getting 911 calls about zombies. I am pretty sure they have been pranks, but I was wondering if-”

“They’re very much real, unfortunately,” Lucifer confirmed. “My brother’s bidding, it would appear.”

“Is this one of your brothers?” Chloe asked, pointing to Constantine.

“She knows the truth now, does she?” Constantine asked.

“Of course,” Lucifer replied. “The detective has gotten a taste of the underworld in more ways than one.”

“Let’s get back to the zombie part,” Chloe insisted. “Lucifer, is this something you can fix?”

“I’m going to find out, which is why I need to leave this very instant,” Lucifer said. “Be careful, detective.” He leaned forward to kiss her cheek before he dashed over to his balcony. He turned back to the two of them and unleashed the angelic wings from his back before vanishing from their line of sight.

John Constantine turned to Chloe who looked worried. “Don’t worry love, he can’t die….unfortunately.”

Chloe turned to him with an annoyed, defensive expression. “A lot of innocent people will until he’s back”

“Well, my team is on the case,” John reassured, taking a flask out of his trench coat and downing a drink.

Chloe eyed him up and down, assessing him as a detective would. “Is it a team of misfits and alcoholics?”

“Yeah! Have they stopped by already?” John asked optimistically. Chloe rolled her eyes and made her way to the elevator.

“You coming?” She asked.

“Nope, I’m going back the way I came,” John said as he opened a portal now that Lucifer lowered his wards. He turned to see Chloe’s surprised expression and John gave her a wink before stepping through back to his house.

He entered the living room and immediately heard some type of wheezing and heavy breathing. He rushed around the corner to see Gary laying on the floor, with Astra holding him.

“Help me, John!” Astra barked. “He’s having some type of human malfunction.”

“Gary! Gare!” John shouted as he approached quickly and got down to the floor. He was sweating profusely, even more than usual, and he couldn’t breathe at all. “I got you, Gare.”

He cupped Gary’s face and leaned in to kiss him, just as Lucifer did to him. Gary moaned a little upon impact and ended up cupping John’s face.

Astra made a noise of disgust and quickly pushed herself back, dropping Gary and separating them. “I’m not a third wheel for your gross foreplay!”

John chuckled and Gary seemed disoriented, processing what had just happened. “It seems at midnight, many people went into fear-induced panics,” Constantine explained.

“And the only way out of it is true love’s kiss?” Gary asked.

Constantine chuckled and let out a sly smile. “Just regular kissing, mate.”

“Psssh, of course, obviously. I just meant something similar, like in fairy tales. The phrase just….popped in my….did you find anything out?” Gary bashfully asked.

“The zombies are being summoned by the archangel Michael, hence the fear. Every one of God’s children has a specialty, and fear is Michael’s,” Constantine asked.

“Who exactly did you visit, John?” Astra asked.

“His name is Lucifer Morningstar, and he’s from Earth 666, or at least he _was_ ,” Constantine explained.

“Lucifer Morningstar?” Gary asked nervously. “Like the devil?”

“That particular Earth had a very different Heaven and Hell system than ours. Instead of demons ruling, trading soul chips, he made sure all villainy was punished. He’s not a good guy, but he’s not a bad one either,” John stated.

“But the archangel is?” Astra asked.

“He never talks about his family, and he has a strict policy on never shouting his father’s name in the bedroom,” John stated. “The daddy issues on that one…real hot if you play it _just_ right.”

“You had sex with the devil?” Gary asked awkwardly, with a little bit of fear in his eyes.

John winked at Gary and Astra rolled her eyes with disgust. “We kind of had a quid-pro-quo thing going on. Whenever one of us needed a magical favor from the other, we paid for it with _favors_ of another type.”

“Don’t you have standards?” Astra asked.

“He’s actually incredibly attractive and charming, it’s just everything else about him that’s repulsive. He’s arrogant, condescending, he never listens-”

“I’ve never met anybody like that,” Astra said sarcastically. John gave her a disapproving look.

“Aside from both being devilishly handsome and British, we are nothing alike,” John contested.

A cocky smirk grew on Astra’s smile, but she decided not to push the conversation further. “So how is Mr. Morningstar going to help?”

“He said he’ll message me the details as soon as he knows,” Constantine replied.

“So the fate of the world is in the hands of the devil?” Gary asked with an afraid demeanor. “That isn’t very reassuring.”

“Relax, Gary,” John insisted. “It’s only because Michael is building up that fear power of his.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s because we are putting our faith in the devil,” Gary retorted.

“Putting our faith in the devil? It has a nice ring to it,” John replied. “I’m sure his ego would love the boost.”

John opened up a portal to the Waverider and the three of them waltzed onto the bridge where a few of the Legends were. “Do you have something?” Ava asked expectantly upon seeing them recoup with the team.

“John sucked the devil’s dick and now Satan’s helping us,” Astra said with a humored smile.

“I didn’t suck his dick for _this_ favor, I have sucked it previously in the past for former favors,” John replied.

Ava looked at them with a confused expression on her face. “Is this is a code or am I having a stroke?”

“Lucifer Morningstar ruled a different Hell on a different Earth, and he thinks one of his evil brothers is the cause of this and is working on it,” John explained.

“And we’re just supposed to trust the devil?” Ava asked with a dramatic exasperated gesture.

“Why does everyone ask the same things?” John groaned. “He’s a very helpful occult ally, and he’s the best lead we’ve got.”

Ava rubbed her temples to ease the building tension that was growing in her forehead. “This is why I hated group projects with random classmates. Okay, well, we’re waiting for the ground team to finish up their strike, and then we rotate. Get some rest when you can.”

John gave Ava a two-finger salute of acknowledgement before making his way off to his quarters for some rest; he’s sure as hell earned it. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes when Mick entered, piquing John’s interest.

“You’re not the type for a social visit, Rory. What are you in my room for?” John questioned.

Mick sat down and took a legal pad and pen from the inside of his leather jacket. “I need details on you and the devil. I haven’t been this inspired since Garima first appeared to me in a wet dream.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake, another time, Rory! Let me have some rest!” Constantine griped.

Mick huffed with disappointment. “Fine. But you have to give me the details later. I think this could blow all of my other stories out of the water.”

“Well, you may meet him, feel free to ask him yourself,” John replied, the exhaustion clear in his voice.

“I always thought I’d meet the devil someday,” Mick said, mostly to himself. “I just assumed it would be in Hell.”

“Well, you’d be surprised by who you run into down there; now please,” John gestured his hand to the door and Mick begrudgingly got up out of the chair and made his way outside.

John sighed with relief that he could finally have some silence and rest. They had been working non-stop since the start of the chaos. He took a deep breath and slowly lulled off into slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

Gary Green paced nervously in the ship’s med bay; he wanted somewhere slightly discrete. He was new to be fully integrated on the team, and he knew he could still be too much for some people.

“Would you like me to provide you with anti-anxiety serum, Mr. Green?” Gideon asked. Gary stopped pacing to consider the offer.

“You can do that?” Gary asked.

“Of course. I have plenty of remedies and prescriptions for many a diagnosis,” Gideon responded.

The doors to the med bay opened and Nate helped Behrad limp in. “Oh sweet baby goat! Are you alright!?” Gary exclaimed with fright.

“Nothing B can’t handle,” Nate said confidently, patting his boyfriend on the shoulder as Behrad positioned himself on the bed.

“It’s just a small leg injury,” Behrad said. “Zombies are surprisingly resistant to wind.”

Zari came rushing in and positioned herself at the foot of the bed. “Behrad! Are you okay? What happened?”

“Sis! I am alright!” Behrad explained.

Zari began to hit Nate repeatedly on his arms and chest. “What aren’t you doing a better job of protecting your boyfriend!?”

“Ow, ow, calm down, Z!” Nate exclaimed as he was trying to protect himself from her slaps.

“That’s enough, Zari. We’ve all had our fair share of injuries on missions, much worse than this,” Behrad stated, trying to ease his sister’s anger.

“I will have Behrad in tip-top shape within twenty-two minutes and forty-three seconds,” Gideon interjected.

Behrad smiled and gestured to Gideon’s voice from above. “You see? Nothing to worry about. These are some punk ass zombies.”

Nate nodded his head. “I played so much Call of Duty that these things don’t even phase me.”

Zari squinted at Nate with confusion. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds primitive.” Nate bounced his head as he pondered her assumption before nodding in agreement.

“If you’re concerned, you can have the totem next time and I’ll be more than happy to rest,” Behrad said happily.

“I was going to anyways,” she replied authoritatively. “I enjoy being the family superhero. I do it better anyways.”

Behrad and Nate let out a scoff of disbelief. “As if,” Behrad said.

Zari smirked at Behrad’s ego. “I’m not the one laying in med bay.” She patted Behrad’s leg roughly and he let out a wince of pain before she smirked and walked away.

Nate combed his fingers through Behrad’s hair and Behrad looked up Nate appreciatively, and clearly in love. Nate was returning the fond expression and it made Gary’s heart ache. He would often look at John how Behrad was looking at Nate, but John never reciprocated.

“Can I ask you both a question?” Gary asked sheepishly.

Behrad and Nate both smirked knowingly. “Boy problems?” Nate asked. “Have no fear, I am an expert on gay relationships.”

“You only came out as bi like, two months ago because of _me_ ,” Behrad stated. “ _I_ am the queer expert here since everyone in the 2040s are queer.”

“Well, I’m open to all opinions. So, here it is; were you both sexually active with multiple partners, and does that bother either of you?” Gary asked.

The both of them shook their head. “I’ve been with about twelve or so girls,” Nate stated. “Half of them were long-term, and some were just hookups. I was pretty busy with my PhDs. I was a big nerd.”

Behrad shrugged. “About the same. I had my wild high school and college days. I mean, look at me. Can you blame that all of the guys and gals wanted a slice of B-cake?”

Gary and Nate nodded appreciatively at Behrad’s body. “I’m just feeling insecure because John’s the only person I had sex with, and that was only three-and-a-half times, and he’s been with a lot of people-”

“Oh, definitely,” Nate stated.

“Loads of people,” Behrad added.

“And a good amount of non-people, too,” Nate said.

“King Shark?”

“A classic!”

“The man’s a legend.”

“You know how Victor Hugo has potentially had the most sex than anyone on the planet?” Nate asked. “I bet Constantine passed him.”

“Oh, for sure.”

“Every brothel in Paris closed when Hugo died. That’s the sexual impact Hugo had.”

“What is Constantine’s sexual impact? What would close down?” Behrad asked.

“I don’t know. Hell, probably,” Nate replied.

“This isn’t helping,” Gary interjected.

“Right,” Behrad replied, wincing due to the awkwardness. “My bad, bro. Why were you asking, though?”

“Spill the tea, Gare,” Nate insisted. He leaned over to Behrad. “Did I use that gay lingo right?” He whispered, earning a nod from Behrad.

“I just don’t know how to compete with everyone else. I try to be a good magical student and a good teammate. How do I compete with someone as seductive and handsome as the devil?” Gary asked.

“Is the ‘devil’ a metaphor?” Nate asked.

Gary shook his head. “Apparently the devil is an incredibly sexually attractive suave British man who dresses in fancy clothing and is also John’s enemy-with-benefits.”

“I see,” Nate replied, stretching out the final word of his sentence as he pondered to the best he could. “I don’t think I have any advice regarding sexy British devils. Behrad?”

“Gare, you’re totes a catch,” Behrad insisted. “Nerdy twinks are in!”

“Twink. I know that one,” Nate said to himself.

“I’m not going to say ‘Don’t waste your time on J.C.’, because I was head over heels for this straight guy,” Behrad stated. “You do deserve to be treated better, but anything can happen. You could help him grow a heart, potentially.”

“Describe the enemy part of enemy with benefits,” Nate requested.

“I don’t know much, but they don’t get along from long periods of time when they’re not…fornicating with each other,” Gary replied.

“John loves hanging out with you,” Nate stated. “You’re one of the few people he trusts, you’re the only one that can make him smile-”

“Wait, you’ve seen him smile?” Behrad asked.

“I’m pretty sure it was a smile. It didn’t last long, and I was partially in shock from the sight, but I’m like, eighty percent sure, and Gary was the cause. We were discussing a mission, Garth made a suggestion because he knew the creature’s weakness and you said it was from D&D, and John smiled at your insight,” Nate explained.

“BOOM!” Behrad responded dramatically. “There we go! You have an in, man!”

“And then you can get _in_ the _man_ ,” Nate replied suggestively. Behrad, without breaking line of sight from Gary, held up his hand for a high-five, while Nate obliged perfectly, despite not looking at Behrad.

Gary groaned, feeling nervous, insecure, and unsure. “If that was the case, why hasn’t he just said something by now?”

“I don’t know if John has ever had a healthy talk about his emotions a day in his life,” Behrad stated.

“Agreed. The man is pure repression, which has been repressed by even more repression,” Nate said, gesturing with his arms that looked like he was pushing down on something with force.

“I do know the man would most likely sacrifice himself for you,” Behrad said. “Deep down, you’re his number one man, he just has a bad time showing it.”

“Hopefully you’re right,” Gary replied sheepishly.

“My treatment is complete,” Gideon stated. “Mr. Tarazi is at peak health.”

“Awww yeah,” Behrad said enthusiastically as he stood up out of the bed. He kissed his finger tips and held them upward. “You’re the bomb, Gideon.”

“I appreciate the complement,” Gideon replied back. “And Mr. Green, I wish you the best in your romantic endeavor with Mr. Constantine.”

“Thank you, Gideon” Gary said sheepishly. “Can I still get those anti-anxiety meds, though?”

“Coming right up!”


	3. Chapter 3

John woke up after a few hours of rest and quickly checked his clock. There were twelve hours left to midnight on the main timeline, when Michael would be at his peak.

“Mr. Constantine,” Gideon stated. “I believe the Waverider has a visitor. Someone by the name of a Mr. Morningstar.”

“Oh bollocks,” John replied, hastily getting out of bed and rushing to get clothes on. Once he was decent, he made his way to the bridge where the rest of the Legends were gathered…along with Lucifer.

“And that’s when I said ‘Four-Prong? But we can barely fit three in here!’” The rest of the Legends laughed heartily at a joke John missed the beginning of. As soon as he was visible, Lucifer lit up with a smile. “Here’s Johnny!”

“Yeah, that one never gets old,” John replied.

“I have to say, Johnathan, I _love_ this little entourage of yours,” Lucifer complimented.

“He’s pretty cool, John. Who knew the devil was just an average guy?” Nate asked.

“Well, I am definitely above average, in more ways than one I should say. But yes, aside from the money, penthouse, rolexes, immortality, and endless menagerie of sex parties in my single days, I am just like a regular human! Not the gross ones, though.”

Ava and Sara walked onto the bridge to see the rest of the Legends fawning over Lucifer. “Excuse me,” Sara announced herself as she approached. “I’m Sara, co-captain of the Waverider. And whom might you be?”

“John didn’t announce he had invited a guest? I must say, Johnathan, your hosting etiquette is poorer than I had imagined it; and I had already had a quite low opinion to start with,” Lucifer stated, looking at his ally. He turned back to Sara and gave a charming smile. “I’m Lucifer Morningstar, here to help you little time travelers with humanity’s little zombie problem.”

“Ava said you were coming,” Sara said. “I’ve been to Hell before. It wasn’t a fun time.”

“My sincerest apologies for that, it never is. But I don’t understand how a doll like you could have possibly ended up there. You’re radiant!” Lucifer complimented.

Sara smiled and blushed before Ava cleared her throat and stepped in. “And spoken for! Ava Sharpe, Sara’s co-captain and girlfriend.”

“How delightful. Is everyone on this ship queer as well?” Lucifer asked. Multiple legends nodded.

“We’re not sure about Rory,” Behrad whispered.

“And you’ll never know,” Rory said flatly, but there was a hint of mischievity in his voice.

“I love it, it’s like a pride parade in space!” Lucifer replied. “Now, before we get down to business, I have a question for each of you. Let’s start with Miss Sharpe.” He turned to Ava and gave her a mischievous smile. “Tell me, Ms. Sharpe, what is it that your _truly_ desire?”

Ava stared deeply into his eyes and felt herself being coaxed into telling the truth. “I….want….to find a new purpose in life.”

“Oh, philosophical! What happened, honey? You can tell me anything and everything,” Lucifer replied.

Ava sighed, feeling embarrassed. She didn’t want to talk about it, especially in front of everyone. “Well, I had devoted my life to the Time Bureau, which closed, and the past year on this ship has been nice and fun, but I don’t know if it’s something I want to do long-term.”

Sara nodded and rubbed Ava’s arm supportively. “I understand, and I get it. We have a lot to discuss I suppose.”

Ava smiled fondly at her girlfriend’s reassurance. “Well, first we got a world to save.”

“I like the spirit. I am so relieved to have you do-goodness out on the field. It means this should be a one and done thing for me,” Lucifer said. “Alright, who is next?” He spun around and pointed to Zari.

“Another gorgeous girl on this ship? I swear, you should have a calendar,” Lucifer stated charmingly. Zari just smiled, already knowing she was beautiful and curtsied slightly. “Miss, please tell me what is it that you _truly_ desire?”

Zari also fell under the spell and felt her guard relax. “I….want to make sure Zari didn’t sacrifice herself for a vapid airhead.” The atmosphere in the room fell tense and Zari’s confident smile faltered.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lucifer said sympathetically. “I was expecting something more fun. Who is Zari?”

“Another version of me,” Zari replied softly. There was weakness and vulnerability in her voice. “Behrad, myself, and her couldn’t all co-exist in the American timeline. She was smarter and more badass than me. She volunteered to be a spirit with our ancestors in our family heirloom so we could stay.” Zari sniffled slightly and wiped a single tear from her eye. “She was a real Legend.”

“You’re a real Legend too, Zee,” Nate reassured. “You kick ass on the field when you have the totem. Other Zari is real proud, I know it.”

“I agree,” Sara said. “You’re a badass, and you’ve saved our butts numerous times.”

Zari smiled sheepishly and nodded. “Thanks,” she replied faintly. “I’m just going to step out for a second.”

She made her way towards the dorms and Behrad patted Nate on the shoulder before following her out as well for support.

“Surely someone has something that can lighten the mood in here?” Lucifer asked.

“Oh! Do me, do me!” Nate begged enthusiastically.

“I’d be _more_ than glad to,” Lucifer said seductively. “I can also use my power on you next, too.” He winked at Nate and the man chuckled appreciatively in response. “What is it that you _truly_ desire, Nathaniel?”

Nate felt a tingling sensation in his body as he felt the overwhelming urge to spill a secret. “I kind of want to try a gay threesome with Behrad and my friend Dion. Or maybe John. Or maybe Gary. Or even you.” His face grew into shock, and both Lucifer and Constantine let out a cocky smile while Gary blushed intensely. “WOAH! I am going to be way embarrassed later, but that was so cool!”

“Well, Nathaniel, play your cards right and we will see,” Lucifer said with a flirty smile. He made his way over to Gary next, who was the only one not comforted by his presence.

“You look a little unnerved. Come on, don’t be shy, I’ll only bite if you ask me to,” Lucifer teased coyly. “You must be Gary. John’s told me about you.”

This perked Gary’s interest and made John tense up a little. “Did he?” Gary nervously asked.

“He did,” Lucifer said with a mischievous grin. “So tell me, Mr. Green, what is it that you _truly_ desire?”

Gary started to tense up incredibly. He knew what he desired more than anything, and that something was standing several feet away. “I want-”…

He looked over at John nervously, and John had an apologetic expression on his face. He nodded and made his way towards the door. Gary held in his secret for as long as possible. Once John was out of the room, Gary succumbed to the compulsion. “I want the person I love to love me back.”

“So I figured,” Lucifer said with a malicious smile, before he turned around to see that John had left. His arrogant demeanor flounder to disappointment when he saw John had already evaded Gary’s question. “He certainly knows how to take the fun out of everything, doesn’t he?”

Gary quickly left in the opposite direction while Lucifer’s back was turned, visibly upset about being publicly embarrassed by a team that frequently looked down on him anyways. Ava went after him for support and the rest of them were no longer fond of Lucifer.

“You really are the devil,” Sara stated disappointingly before walking off.

“I assure you, had John been here, it would have been funny,” Lucifer said.

“No, it wouldn’t have been, asshole,” Nate replied. “Gary’s a good friend. Humans are not your play things.”

Nate stormed off and left Astra and Mick in the room with them. “We used to be villains,” Mick said. “But all I did was steal stuff and beat up punks in red spandex. I always left the little guys alone.”

Mick left while Astra followed, leaving Lucifer alone in the bridge. “Okay but what about the mission!? That’s why I’m HERE!”

Gary sat in the storage room, holding back his emotions; sadness, fear, anger. His eyes were watery, but he wasn’t going to bawl after John, but he was embarrassed for being deep enough in love for him to be like this at all.

Ava stepped in and gave Gary a sympathetic smile. “Hey, Gare.”

“I don’t want you feeling sorry for me or seeing me like this,” Gary replied.

“I’m not here because I feel sorry for you, Gary. I’m here because I’m your friend,” Ava reassured.

Gary smiled softly. Ava had never called him a friend before. He looked up to her greatly, and she was a role model to him. “Do you mean that?”

“Of course,” Ava replied. Gary could tell she was being honest and sincere. “But I know why you’d doubt it. I was a strict boss at the Time Bureau, and everyone didn’t treat you well, including me…especially me.”

“You’re not just worried I’ll go evil again?” Gary asked.

Ava chuckled. “No, nobody thinks that. Neron got to you when you were low and vulnerable. It could have happened to any of us. You are a good guy, Gary Green; a great guy, possibly the greatest.”

Gary chuckled, and wiped the tears from his eyes. Ava sat down next to him on the same large metal box and put her arm around him. “As far as John goes, maybe he’ll come around, maybe he won’t. I really wish I could tell you for certain that he could. But no matter what, whether you’re with him or not, you cannot let your worth be defined by that man. Never let your worth be defined by _any_ man, but _especially_ not John Constantine. Seriously, you could do better. _Much_ better.”

Gary chuckled a bit at that. “I probably could,” he said with faux confidence.

Ava smiled back at him and sat up straight. “Tell me what you like about him,” she said sincerely. “Help me see what you see, honestly.”

“Well,” Gary replied. “Shortly after we met, we played Dungeons and Dragons, and he was really adorable at how much he was liking it. His laugh and his smile were infectious. And we went on a date to a pub, grabbed a pint, and he payed attention to me, in a way nobody had done before. And I know you shouldn’t be totally absorbed by the first guy who shows you interest, or the person you lose your virginity to, but he was pretty open and honest about everything. I don’t get to see that side of him when everybody else is around, only when it’s the two of us training at his house.” Ava continued to stay fixated on Gary as he explained everything. “I think he’s been getting better ever since Astra joined us. Most of his trauma and self loathing was tied to her, but that’s been resolved. I know he’s had problems letting his guard down, and that’s why he has to be more defensive and more distant, but he’s let them down long enough for me to see glimpses of him, and he’s helped me build my confidence up. We make each other better, I know we do; and that doesn’t mean it is meant to be a romantic thing, but I think it’d be nice.”

Ava smiled softly. “I think I get it. Sara was the same way, to an extent. She had a lot of darkness from the Lazarus Pit. She still does, she just manages it better. She has to manage it every day. I think John is trying to manage it every day.”

“I want to help him, however he’ll let me. If it’s only as a friend, then I am happy having to have met him, and you, and joining the Legends,” Gary replied.

Ava grinned at that and hugged him. “These idiots are a pretty good thing that happened to us, huh?”

“The best,” Gary replied ecstatically.

Ava groaned as she slowly let go of Gary and sat back upright. “I want to say that’s pushing it, but a majority of my memories are fabricated, so that’s probably true. Damnit.”

The door opened and there stood Lucifer Morningstar, looking remorseful. “I am here to extend my apologies to Mr. Green regarding my behavior on the floor.”

Ava turned to Gary and Gary gave her a subtle nod, but she was still defensive of her former Time Bureau agent. “Fine, go on ahead, let’s hear it.”

There was a moment of silence with Lucifer staring at the both of them before his face contorted into confusion. “Was-,” he started, pointing to Gary. “Was that not it? Didn’t I just-? There’s supposed to be more?”

Ava groaned and raised her head back in frustration and disappointment. “It’s fine, Ava. Half apology accepted.”

“Wait, no, I _did_ have more, that’s right. I did it for a good reason, Mr. Green. I have a plan! But, the plan is a little delicate, so I’m sure you would prefer a little priv-acy,” he stated, looking at Ava.

Ava again turned to Gary for confirmation and he nodded. “I’m an adult, Ava, I’ll be fine.”

“Just once this mission is over, just promise that you’ll never come back to the Waverider,” Ava ordered.

“Believe me, Captain, you don’t have to bother telling me twice,” Lucifer replied, looking at the storage room with disgust. “Best get the team prepped for departure.”

Ava stepped out of the storage room, and the door closed behind them. “So, Mr. Green, I have a solution to all of your problems, both romantic _as well as_ the zombie infestation my brother is causing. Tell me,…..what has Johnathan taught you about sex magic?”

“Are you bloody mad!?” Constantine exclaimed as the three of them were discussing in the ship library.

“Calm down, Johnny. From what you’ve told me, life or death missions always having you feeling spontaneously horny. Don’t tell me now that because we _need_ it to be done you’re suddenly chickening out,” Lucifer replied.

“There _has_ to be another way,” Constantine insisted.

“I’m afraid not. Have you ever been so afraid you erected a hard on?” Lucifer asked.

“No!”

“Yes,” Gary sheepishly answered.

“Exactly. Multiple emotions overlap in certain areas of the soul. Fear and lust overlap due to survival, preservation of self and family, the rush of adrenaline, and so on. That is why I had to kiss you to snap you out of my brother’s fear spell. The kiss was the cure, but this is on a much bigger scale. Now, if you won’t help me do something we’ve already done together twenty-six times together, then luckily Gary has volunteered,” Lucifer stated.

Constantine turned to Gary next. “Are _you_ bloody mad!?”

“We are running out of time to debate this, John!” Gary insisted.

“You believe this charlatan!?” Constantine asked.

“You told me yourself, Lucifer doesn’t lie,” Gary argued.

“Yeah, but the cheeky bastard can still stretch the truth,” Constantine replied angrily, glaring at the devil.

Lucifer chuckled and grinned confidently. “This option is the easiest and most efficient, especially under duress. We all need to make sacrifices for humanity. Now, Mr. Green, let’s go fetch Mr. Tarazi.”

“Stop! What the hell do you need Behrad for?” Constantine asked.

“Well certainly you know the rule of threes in magic, Johnathan. Three elements, three enchantments, three gemstones, three herbs, three people in a ritual to stop the fear spell. Mr. Tarazi’s magical connection via his family heirloom isn’t exactly the arcana I was looking for, but I suppose it’ll have to do,”

“Nope, nope, nope. I’m doing it,” John insisted.

“Do you _really_ want to, Constantine?” Lucifer asked. “You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

“What makes me uncomfortable is you and your motives,” Constantine replied sternly.

Lucifer let out another coy, cunning smile. “Johnathan, the only thing I want is to stop this little zombie pandemic so I can go to my luxury penthouse and catch some more bad guys running around Los Angeles. The sooner you shut up and put out, the sooner I can do that. Now, let’s be on our way."


	4. Chapter 4

The Waverider landed in Transylvania in 1733. They landed outside a gothic castle and the groaning of zombies could be heard throughout the dark forest.

“Transylvania, 1733. Next year, the word ‘vampire’ will be added to the dictionary, and in 160 years, Bram Stoker will write a book about the dark monsters lurking here. The public will think of it as fiction, but it is their assumptions that are make-believe,” Lucifer explained. “This is the central point of all the years and countries where my brother is spawning his army of fear.”

“Alright team,” Sara stated. “Let’s move out! Behrad, monitor the radar from the ship and run coordinations. You three, go take care of the spell.”

“I’m greatly looking forward to it. You could say I’m feeling excited already,” Lucifer said coyly. John rolled his eyes and ignored Lucifer.

“Enjoy the totem, sis,” Behrad said begrudgingly as he handed it to her. She took it with a smile and put it on her wrist.

“Enjoy the bench,” she teased before walking away.

Nate walked up to Behrad and gave him a deep kiss. “Give them hell, Nate.”

“You know I am going to _slay_ ,” he said as he pointed finger guns to Behrad and winked with a cocked smile. Behrad scoffed and shook his head.

“Guess we better make our way to the smaller jump ships?” Gary asked.

“Very excited for all of us to share the same cockpit, aren’t you Johnny?” Lucifer asked.

“Fuck off,” John said as they made their way to the jump ships. Behrad looked at them curiously as they headed off.

The rest of the legends were outside, fighting their way through the graveyard. They needed to keep the zombies occupied and stop them from ruining the ritual Lucifer, John, and Gary were planning.

“All right, Legends! Let’s go kick some zom-butt!” Sara announced.

The Legends all charged at the incoming zombie invasion. Nate steeled up and barreled through them, swinging his arms when he needed to knockout any at his sides. He jumped up with his increased power in strength, and dove forward, extending his arms and spinning like a torpedo. He struck head first into a crowd of them and knocked them all out. He tucked in his arms and legs to roll upon landing, allowing him to pop right back up.

“WHOOOO!” He shouted after successfully executing his new maneuver. “I call that the Topping Torpedo!”

“Nate, I’m really happy you’re out and proud now, but we need to have a serious discussion about throwing in random queer phrases in everything,” Sara said in the comms as both her and Ava were fighting side by side with a pair of strike batons. With quick and precise precision, they were clubbing the zombies right in their heads, while kicking others to stop them from advancing.

“Is there anything sexier than a woman with a pair of batons?” Sara asked.

“Let me know and I can go grab some,” Ava replied confidently.

“I think a bow and arrow is pretty great,” Astra replied via comms on the other side of the field. Zari was keeping the horde away with gusts of wind. Astra loaded up an arrow, the arrowhead of which was a magic rune with glowing arcane carvings.

She let the arrow go and it flew into the horde, assisted by the downwind of Zari’s totem. It struck one zombie, but upon impact, a vast array of fireworks began to explode and rumble, setting multiple of the zombies in proximity ablaze.

“Mommy’s missed you so much,” Astra said as she kissed her bow. “What should I use next? Electric Hellrain or Poisonous Zephyr?”

“Uhmm,” Zari pondered. “I _really_ like my lungs.”

“Oh are those vital? I just always really liked the popping noises they made when I inflated them to the max,” Astra stated.

“Well,” Zari replied sheepishly. “We all have our hobbies…”

“Has anyone seen Rory?” Sara asked on the comms.

Mick was still on the Waverider in his bedroom, sitting at his typewriter. He had his reading glasses on and he looked focused on the paper before him as he meticulously typed his new erotica.

“The devil approached the nude maiden before him,” Rory narrated. “Her breasts and thighs were exposed for him to gaze upon. He knelt down in front of her, his high infernal body temperature permeated her skin and made her blush. ‘So tell me, quivering maiden, what is it that you _truly_ desire?’”

The jump ship had landed on a tall hill, overlooking the cryptic castle and the graveyards that surrounded it. They spent several minutes laying out the signal, the runes and crystals within the signal as well as lighting the candles and burning the necessary herbs.

“Alright, everyone, the time has come,” Lucifer stated. “Let’s get everyone ready.” He started unbuttoning Gary’s shirt for him, and he gave Constantine a fiendish grin as he did it. He leaned in and kissed Gary passionately. Gary moaned into his mouth. John quickly dashed over to pull them apart.

“John!” Gary scolded.

“My my, is somebody getting jealous?” Lucifer asked. “I’m just helping in getting everyone aroused. You can have him next, promise.”

Gary huffed at John and ripped open John’s shirt. Buttons bounced everywhere and John gasped wit surprise and slight arousal. Gary roamed his hands on John’s chest, John secretly liked Gary’s initiative and the fact he remembered how he liked to be felt.

“This is serious, John. You need to behave for this to work. Are you going to behave?” Gary asked softly, looking deep into his eyes.

“Y-yes,” John choked out as Gary’s hands roamed down to his crotch to grab his growing hard-on.

“Then get ready, and let Lucifer and I do what _we_ need to do,” Gary ordered.

Gary headed back to Lucifer and John was left watching, his cock twitching and hardening. He was very into Gary’s new confidence and strength. He had to admit that watching two sexually attractive blokes make out and slowly strip each other naked.

John unfastened his own belt and stepped out of his own trousers as the other two men were both shirtless. Lucifer kept giving Constantine glances of victory, and John somehow find that equally arousing just as it was infuriating.

Lucifer stepped out of his pants, revealing his impressive angelic cock. John had to admit, there was something magical about it. Maybe it was Lucifer’s innate ability to amplify desires. Gary got on his knees, his back still to John, and he started to take Lucifer into his mouth.

John was left with both the desire to view from a different angle, but also he was enjoying his imagination of what Gary looked like with his mouth full of the devil’s cock.

Gary looked up at Lucifer, and the devil looked down at him and smiled. He was an incredibly sexy and chiseled man. He couldn’t believe he was on his knees sucking the devil’s cock; the ruler of hell was sliding himself up and down Gary’s mouth.

John couldn’t stay away anymore; he stepped up to the both of them to watch. He heard the wet helping noises faintly within Gary’s throat as he struggled to take all of Lucifer.

“Such a sexy inexperienced lad,” Lucifer stated. “We’re going to have so much fun with you. Johnathan, come join in.”

John made his way over to the front of Gary, and the sight made John weak in the knees. He liked the view he used to have of his own dick in Gary’s mouth, but another man in his mouth was mouthwatering. Maybe he was more okay with sharing Gary than he thought.

Lucifer wrapped his arm around Constantine to welcome him in. Gary removed his mouth from Lucifer and licked the head of John’s cock while looking up at him, something John had always liked.

Gary took all of John in next and Constantine let out a moan as he was engulfed by his protégé. He missed Gary, he truly did. He had his reasons for staying away but at this point, he had forgotten what they were.

Lucifer turned to Constantine and smiled coyly. “Isn’t it better when we get along?”

“This is pretty much the only thing you’re good for,” John bantered.

“Oooh, yes, insult more _more_ ,” Lucifer teased as he pulled Constantine in for a kiss. Their lips and tongues moved against each others’ as John felt Gary remove himself from his dick, presumably to go back to working on Lucifer. Lucifer moaned in John’s mouth and his slid his hand down John’s back to grasp at his ass.

Constantine placed his hand on Lucifer’s abs as the devil played with his ass. Lucifer teasingly stroked his middle finger through the cleft of John’s ass, grazing against his hole but never advancing into him.

Gary’s mouth ended back on Constantine’s, surprising him, causing him to break off of Lucifer’s face to let out a surprised moan, which Lucifer chuckled at. John tuned back to Gary who was hard at work sucking off John. John reached a hand down to cup Gary’s face. Gary looked up at the contact and took his mouth off John, letting out a small pop upon separation. His lips and chin were messy with a combination of saliva and precum. The visual aroused John immensely; he looked like a sexy, perfect cocksucker. He ran his thumb across Gary’s lips affectionately, clearing up some of the juice. He brought his thumb up to his mouth to taste himself and Lucifer combined on his former lover’s lips, and winked at Gary upon tasting.

“I think it’s almost time to advance,” Lucifer suggested. “Why not get him ready?” John got down to his knees and kissed Gary deeply, roaming his hands on the former time agent’s body until his hands were down at Gary’s belt. John could tell Gary was incredibly hard under his trousers.

John unfastened the buckle and unzipped the trousers to help Gary step out of them. He moved around Gary and grabbed the ankles of his pants to throw them out of the way. He pressed their bodies together, and took a moment to just admire Gary’s beauty. He remembered why he tried to cut Gary off. He felt for Gary deeply, or at least he had the potential to, and that was dangerous for John. But right now, with Gary nude in front of him, looking at him softly, it cut through John’s core and made him feel vulnerable.

He leaned forward to kiss Gary and he pressed their bodies together. Kissing Gary was different than kissing Lucifer. Kissing Lucifer was about the foreplay and the erotic sensation, kissing Gary was about the connection, and wanting him close.

Gary broke off of John, and it almost crushed his heart, he wanted to never stop. “We should probably pick up the pace.”

“Right,” John said dejectedly.”

“We have time for a little more fun while John loosens you up,” Lucifer said eagerly. Gary repositioned himself on his hands and knees with his head at Lucifer’s cock and his ass arched for John.

Gary took Lucifer into his mouth once more as John roamed his hands around Gary’s ass. His cock was so hard and he wanted his way with Gary right now, but he knew it would be soon. He moved his mouth to Gary’s ass and started to lick Gary’s hole. Gary moaned on Lucifer’s cock as Lucifer rocked his hips, thrusting himself down Gary’s throat.

Constantine continued to stimulate Gary’s ass with his mouth. John knew Gary was resisting every urge to squirm with pleasure, but he knew his partner in the arcane was staying strong since he was simultaneously deep-throating Lucifer, and that required much more concentration to manage. Still, he loved Gary’s ass, and he loved being this close to it. It was immensely sensual and erotic to him; John swore he could be down on someone for hours if they’d let him.

“It’s time,” Lucifer ordered. “We’re all horned up and ready to proceed.”

John removed his mouth from Gary and leaned to look at him. “Are you ready, Gare?” Gary nodded. “Hand me the lube.”

“Ah-ah-ah,” Lucifer interjected. “I don’t think so. I get to go first. Besides, you need to read the incantation as I insert myself into Mr. Green here since you are essentially placing the spell on _us_.”

“Why can’t you read the bloody incantation?” John asked. “You speak every bloody language!”

“Speak, do not read. Rest assured, Amenadiel swore this was the incantation,” Lucifer said, handing him the parchment.

John grabbed it with a bitter attitude before turning to Gary. “You okay with this?”

“Yes,” Gary confirmed, repositioning himself so his ass was at Lucifer and his head was by John. “Let’s stop Michael.”

John glared at Lucifer once more, who grinned devilishly as he lubed himself up. He nodded at John when he was ready and he glanced at the parchment. He began to chant the arcane language on the parchment as Lucifer slowly slid into Gary. The wind began to pick up and the lights began to flicker as some of their gems and runes glowed. Gary moaned as Lucifer stretched him inch by inch with every chant John uttered. John’s voice boomed with the final words and a strike of lightning stuck from above in the center of the graveyard.

Michael emerged from the lightning, limping, with his wings extended, but angled with injury. “What is the meaning of this!?” He yelled.

He looked up to see the Legends gathered in front of him, poised, and ready to strike. “Alright, Legends,” Sara stated. “This looks like our big bad. Let’s show him how the Legends celebrate Halloween.”

They charge at Michael, and he scowls angrily. Nate tried to barrel through with his steel self, but one knock of Michael’s wings sent him flying. Ava and Sara double teamed him, batons in hand, and they each managed to strike him, as he could only block one at a time. However, he plucked off each of them with his wings and tossed them aside. Astra was in the distance, and was preparing her arcane arrows. Zari sent a strong wave of wind towards Michael. His large wings were catching the gusts, and his balance was staggered. He slid backwards slowly against the ground. Astra let go of her arrow and it flew towards Michael. Upon impact, a small isolated blizzard formed around him. Ice covered his wings and stretched along his skin as he screamed.

“I like that one, what is that one called?” Zari asked.

“Satanic Snowstorm,” Astra said with a smile.

“How fitting,” Zari said.

Behrad was on the ship, sitting on one of the chairs at the comms station, waiting for orders. He was throwing a hacky-sack up and down until it landed on his face, causing him to groan in pain. He threw it over across the room and sighed.

“I wanna see what everyone’s doing! I’m bored!” He said to himself. He started typing into the comms panel and a screen showed up, centered on John, Lucifer, and Gary. “WOAH!” He yelled as he stepped back from the shock at seeing the three of them having sex on the screen. Lucifer was fucking Gary’s ass while John was in his mouth.

“Gideon, can I get some audio?” Behrad asked.

“Certainly, Mr. Tarazi,” Gideon said. The bridge chamber filled with the loud moans of John and Lucifer and muffled moans of Gary.

“John, you certainly have chosen a terrific protégé,” Lucifer complimented. “You’re so tight, Mr. Green. I can see why John wants you all for himself.” John ignored the comment and continued to fuck Gary’s mouth.

Behrad undid his pants buckle as he kept his eyes fixated on the screen before him. He had already grown hard watching his friends fuck in front of his own eyes. He took his hard dick out of his pants and sat back down on the chair, reclining it for a better view as he stroked himself, watching the scene before him.

John looked at Lucifer driving his meat deep into Gary. Until now, the only cock that had been inside his apprentice had been his own. As hot as it was knowing he was the only person Gary had been with until now, watching Lucifer stretch his ass was significantly hotter.

“I reckon it’s about my turn now, mate,” John stated.

Lucifer flashed a wicked grin at John. “How do you figure, Johnathan?”

“Because I said so,” John replied coyly.

Lucifer chuckled and withdrew himself from Gary. “Nobody can say the devil isn’t generous. He’s all yours.”

Constantine also removed himself from Gary’s mouth and the man was panting heavily.

“How are you feeling, lad?” Constantine asked, his face heavy with concern.

Gary Green chuckled and smiled at John. “Like this is the best day of my life.”

John chuckled back and kissed him deeply again, holding him tight as he gently coaxed him on a new position on his back for him to rest. Lucifer handed John the small bowl of lubricant mixture they made via magic-safe herbs and he slicked himself up generously.

He pushed the head of cock right into his rim. Gary let out a soft moan of pleasure and John continued to enter the rest of the way in, relishing in how nice it felt to be inside of Gary again.

“Gary’s really loving this. I _do_ have to admit, you do feel pretty good when you’re inside of someone,” Lucifer stated.

“That’s the nicest compliment you’ve given me,” John said.

“It’s the nicest one you’ll get.”

“Less talking, more thrusting,” Gary ordered.

“A bossy bottom, aren’t you?” Lucifer gasped, impressed at the charisma Gary was displaying. “‘By all means, enjoy.”

Lucifer straddled Gary’s face and stuck his cock in Gary’s free mouth as John was holding Gary’s legs and fucking him. Gary was stroking himself as he was being fucked at both ends now that he was in a better position to do so.

“Fuck him harder, John,” Lucifer ordered. “The spell won’t be complete until we finish off.”

“Your voice isn’t going to do the trick, mate,” John griped.

“It’s always pushed you over the edge before,” Lucifer replied before he reached over to John’s head and pulled it to his, bringing the both of them in for a deep kiss.

“Fuck, I’m close,” John said weakly as he felt the pressure build up inside of his cock.

“Same here,” Lucifer said as he shifted his positioning to now straddle Gary’s torso and rest his ass on Gary’s face. Gary took his free hand to spread Lucifer open and lick upwards. Lucifer stroked himself and pinched his own nipple to help him get closer to climaxing as well.

John began to pick up the pace and thrust harder into Gary, the sound of his thighs colliding against Gary’s ass grew louder.

A frost bitten Michael was using all the strength he had to slowly fend off the Legends when his enhanced hearing picked up the faint clapping noise from a mile away. He slowly turned towards the source as his wings were keeping the Legends at bay.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Michael angrily growled before Ava struck his head with a baton.

“Fuck’s sake, I’m coming!” John announced.

“I think I am too,” Lucifer groaned out.

John pulled out of Gary and started to thrust into his own palm to finish off. Both Lucifer and John began to spill out simultaneously on Gary. Lucifer unloaded onto Gary’s chest while John’s essence landed on Gary’s groin.

This also pushed Behrad over the edge, who was still watching from the comms chair on the Waverider, and he came with a great intensity all over his hand and shirt as he watched.

They weakly made their way off Gary to give him space as he continued to jack himself off. They each laid down by one of his sides and began to start kissing and sucking on the side of his face and neck as their hands roamed his sides and thighs.

“Fuck!” Gary cried out as he climaxed as well. As he came on his own chest, the glowing auras from the jewels and runes around their sigil began to intensify at great magnitude.

“Cover your eyes!” John shouted as a wave of golden sunlight rushed through the fields of Transylvania, disintegrating all zombies it ran its course by.

“NOOOO!” Michael yelled as the golden wave came rushing over to him. The wave passed over the Archangel, and when it was gone, so was he.

“They did it!” Nate exclaimed in the middle of the empty battlefield.

Behrad huffed, also having the main squad on the screen. “Yeah, they did.” He looked down at his shirt situation and quickly bolted up. “I need to change!”

Everyone arrived back at the main bridge at approximately the same time. While the Legends who were directly fighting the horde had expected wear, tear, and bruises; Lucifer, Gary, and John’s disheveled states were a mystery. Gary was walking with a limp, and John’s shirt no longer closed.

“What happened to you all?” Sara asked.

The three of them looked at each other nervously and Behrad also felt the heat of suspicion, despite being a secret observer.

“You could say our encounter was rather intense as well,” Lucifer stated. It wasn’t a lie, technically.

“Were you wearing that shirt earlier, B?” Nate asked.

“I, uh, spilled something on my last one,” Behrad answered nervously. John had seen his antics and knew something was up. This was further confirmed when Behrad nervously looked over to John, and froze in fear at the direct eye contact. John discretely took a step closer to the comms panel, and Behrad nervously eyed it.

Sure enough, there were a few small drops on the panel that Behrad missed upon cleaning up.

“The important thing is that we cleared out the threat,” John said, distracting the group from noticing him drag his finger through the liquid, much to Behrad’s fear and discretely putting the finger in his mouth.

Upon tasting it, John immediately knew what it was, and seeing as he knew the features of the Waverider, he knew exactly how it got there. He gave Behrad a subtle wink as Behrad just averted his eyes from sheer panic.

“You okay, B?” Nate asked.

“Yeah, you’re looking kind of _spent_ ,” John stated. “ _Drained_.”

“Just really wanting this day to be over….right now…,” Behrad groaned.

“Well, don’t worry, Mr. Tarazi,” Lucifer stated. “The devil is officially out of your hair. It was a pleasure meeting all of you. Gary, John, let me know if you ever need another arcane favor. I’m more than happy to oblige.”

Sara opened up a portal for Los Angeles 2020 and Lucifer waltzed through it, turning back to the Legends and winking at them one last time.

Constantine made his way to Behrad and put his hand on Behrad’s shoulder. The man tensed significantly and Constantine whispered lowly in his ear. “You should ask what your boyfriend’s truest desire was, and then come discuss it with Gary and I.” He patted Behrad coyly on his ass, making him jump and let out a noise of shock. Nate eyed Constantine with suspicion as he walked away back to Gary.

“Gare, can we talk in private?” John asked.

“Sure,” Gary agreed. The both of them made their way to one of the empty hallways on the Waverider. Gary looked at John curiously as the man avoided Gary’s gaze. Constantine tried to massage the back of his own neck, feeling tense and awkward about the pending conversation.

“I want to say how deeply sorry I am for how I’ve been treating you,” John said, looking back up at Gary. “I promise, it was never out of malice, at least not intentionally, but I know that doesn’t excuse it since you were hurt by me.” Gary just stood at continued to watch and listen as Constantine explained. Constantine was really hoping for some comment to help relieve the burden and tension, but he knew he had much more to say.

“The truth is all I’ve ever wanted to do was to protect you. Bad things always happen to the people I love, and if the universe knew how much I cared about you, it was going to punish me by doing something to you,” Constantine explained.

Gary scoffed slightly, breaking eye contact just briefly. “You can’t honestly believe that, do you?”

“I do,” Constantine stated. “Lucifer used my feelings for you against me. Luckily he’s just an immature, crude prankster. Had someone truly evil wanted to take advantage of me and make me more miserable than I already have been the past four decades, they’d simply just need to get to you to do that to me.”

The tension in the air was thick and uncomfortable. John was more distraught than Gary had ever seen him before. “Look at Astra, Gary. I ruined her life. Desmond? He ended up in Hell, possessed by Neron.”

Gary shrugged. “Every relationship is risky, John. And yes, these are a little riskier than most relationships on Earth, but so is simply being a Legend. Any of those things could happen to me any day on this ship, or could have happened at the Time Bureau….assuming I was a good enough agent to get more field work, that is.”

John chuckled. “You were the best Time Agent, Gary Green.”

Gary smiled back. “That’s a lie, but I’ll accept it.” John faintly smiled back as the two just stared at each other briefly. “Look, our lives are tough. I have a rough past as well, a rough childhood, rough adulthood. We deserve a little bit of happiness where we can, and you make me very, very happy. In fact, I’ve never been happier than when I’m with you.” John’s looked strained, like they were about to water, but John was a master at suppressing his feelings, but Gary could tell he cared. “Do I make you happy, John?”

“Yes,” John confirmed softly. “By god, yes, Gary Green, you make me truly happy.”

Gary’s smiled beamed with happiness at the confirmation he had been longing for. “Then let’s give this a proper shot. If Nate can change complete orientations for Behrad, then you can step out of your comfort zone just a smidge.”

John laughed heartily at that. Gary was right, he would like to have at least an attempt at being much less miserable. And seeing Gary be with someone else, as arousing as it was, he would hate himself if Gary loved them instead of he.

“Okay,” John replied. “I’m willing to give this relationship a proper try.”

Gary’s smile grew even larger than before. His calm, collected demeanor was just replaced with his normal dorkiness, and John chuckled at the sight. “Really!?”

John nodded, his own smile growing. “Really. Get over here.”

Gary took a few steps closer to Constantine and the British man cupped the man’s face and leaned in for a deep kiss. They were both trying to fight their smiles as they tried to kiss, and were clearly losing. They both chuckled, holding each other close.

“I love you, Gary Green,” Constantine stated.

“I love you, John Constantine,” Gary replied before kissing him again.

They broke off after a few moments of tender kisses and continued to smile at each other. “We have a few hours of Halloween left,” John stated. “What do you say, horror movies and you can hold onto me every time you get scared?”

“I don’t think I’m as much of a scaredy cat as I used to be,” Gary stated.

“We’ll see,” Constantine teased, winking at him. He put his arm around Gary and they made their way to the TV room.

“By the way, remember Nate’s truest desire? It’s apparently Behrad’s too. I expect them to be knocking on our door soon if you think you can handle four now that you mastered three,” Constantine stated.

“I’m open to finding out,” Gary stated.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you loved it! Leave me a comment if you did!
> 
> The idea for Astra using a bow and arrow with arcane arrows came from my Constangreen Discord friends since we were wondering how she may fight if the hell weapons were no longer a thing.


End file.
